Deep as an Ocean
by vulpixfairy
Summary: Summary: Spoilers for 4th manga What were Dee's thoughts when he fell onto the floor of his apartment? DeeRyo


Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE by Sanami Matoh

Author's note: Do you remember the scene in the act 13 in the 4th volume of the manga, where Dee (who was sick with a common cold) fell to the floor before Ryo came along? I thought it would be good to see through his point of view as well as his opinions of Ryo and he is really a hopeless romantic...I hope this is worth reading.

Warnings: Mainly the spoilers for the last act in 4th volume in the manga. Don't read this fic if you haven't read it. Or if you just want some fluff and understand more in the manga, be my guest. I also added snippets of my own poetry to give it more volume, hope it's worth reading

* * *

Deep as an Ocean

I cursed myself for my lack of strength as I stumbled to fully slam the apartment door. It took a nearly whole day to find that little girl's mother. I'm a sucker for kids...with some exceptions. I puffed as the cold bit into my body.

"God...so late," I muttered under my breath, "My head feels like it's been shot."

Why did my bed had to be so far away? My feet were heavy like lead and I 't go...on...

"So cold..."

* * *

Cold as winter's night  
Not a fire of love in sight  
Here I lay upon the ground  
Broken and deprived  
Of the warm glow of love

* * *

I collapsed onto the floor, falling in an undignified fashion, right onto my face. I made a grunt when I remembered about Ryo. Why couldn't he be decent enough to send me home at least...

But then again...why would he...how much would it take to have some sympathy from that guy...

The guy I fell in love with at first sight...

* * *

Deep as an ocean  
Love swallows me  
They say love  
Is the most wonderful treasure to cherish  
But yet it cuts deep  
When it is unrequited love

* * *

I felt a deep sinking unpleasant chill in my heart as I envisioned Ryo in my mind. I never expected this self-righteous, perfect, hardworking and nerve-wrecking man I joked around with be my object of my affections, my muse, and the centre of my world. He was so beautiful...perfect than any other lover I've been with. Ryo hadn't been comfortable with my advances, and it made me worried and most of all, melancholy. He hadn't realized how much I really loved him. It was nothing I have ever experienced. There was something about him that made me want to chase him to the ends of the earth. He was my total antithesis of who I am. He was the light and I the darkness. He was an angel and I a devil. But I felt that he was the one for me. After being partners for some time, I got to know the real him, underneath the uptight appearance. He was vulnerable and insecure, I could see it in his eyes, through his bravado. He needed someone to protect him...I hoped that I could be that person if it meant to be near him...

* * *

My love  
Oh such beauty is incomparable  
To the wonderful creations of God  
Yet you appear to mock me  
And disappear to send me  
To the depths of dark loneliness  
You are close  
And yet so far  
Is it too much to hope  
That you will let me  
Close to your heart?

* * *

I was captured by his beautiful features and the innocence in his soul and personality, I was drawn to him, with him so naive, he doesn't know how I feel. He was the forbidden fruit in my existence. He was so near...yet...he always seem to disappear if I wanted to be close to him. Yeah...that's what happened...before I knew what was happening, I yearned for his presence. I wanted to be close to him, to hold him in my arms, to shower and bestow him with kisses and the love I reserved for him...and only him. I could see him right now, I gazed at him like a lover lost in the painful game of unrequited love. I reached out to him and he disappeared like a summer breeze. I would feel cold and alone when he was gone...like I am now...the coldness of loneliness was far worse than hell...Ryo became my vision of heaven...

* * *

What are obstacles  
In the name of love  
That gives to let one  
Away from the other

* * *

Oh, God...I wanted to be more than close to him, I want to walk and guide him the rest of the path we were walking on. I wanted to feel his skin and his silky light hair, the colour of amber. His eyes dark like the most perfect onyx stones. I wanted to show him how much I love him...and...I wished him to love me, want me...or at least...like me. But what did I really know...I'm not a perfect guy like he was. I smoked, I drank alcohol excessively, I declared paperwork as an enemy while he treats it like an ally, I cursed and used foul language more times that I could remember...

A sigh escaped my lips as the coldness threatened to overtake me...

* * *

Tis darkness that conquer  
The hell of unrequited love  
For a broken heart is worse to endure  
Than a fate of eternal loneliness

* * *

It seemed unfair...I was thinking so much about him that I barely noticed that there were tears in my eyes. I was indeed a lovesick fool. Crying over him. But I couldn't help it, I couldn't bring up enough strength to lift myself up to the bed, the weight over my reminiscing of Ryo kept me from moving.

"I am a hopeless romantic..." I whispered to myself as more tears gathered in my eyes, "Here I am...crying over him..."

"Who says you're hopeless?"

I was quite surprised to find Ryo with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at me.

"What're you doing here, Dee?" his eyebrows were raised as he knelt down to my level, "You're supposed to be in bed. And your door's unlocked."

"For your information, you moron," I countered, "I fell down and I couldn't get up."

While he helped me to the bed, I savored the closeness as long as possible, chatting nonchalantly about the child and her lost mother and I could hear his snicker. Whether he was smirking or smiling...he looked so beautiful just the same. He was so warm...like...

My train of thought was cut off when he placed me gently on my bed. My heart jumped when he headed to the door. What! He's leaving me already! No...not now!

"Hey, Dee. Why don't you get changed and get into bed? I'll go and get some medicine and groceries."

Keeping my voice nonchalant as possible, "Sure...thanks, dude."

As soon as the door closed, I flopped back onto my back and unbuttoned my top. With little strength left, I managed to drag myself underneath the sheets. Oh, Jesus...I felt so hot and so cold...remembering the time with Mother...when...Ryo...dark...

* * *

So...so nice and cool...so wet...I squinted my eyes open and found Ryo holding a cloth to my forehead. His face was filled with concern, looking like an angel. My guardian angel. 

"Dee? Did I wake you?" his face twisted with more worry. This scene was so familiar to me...with Mother. Just like that time. I continued gazing at him...trying to keep my eyes open, afraid that he would disappear like all other times, "You weren't wearing a shirt. Aren't you cold? I turned up the heat just in case."

"So warm..." I felt myself lost in a memory when I was a kid.

"Huh?"

"I remember...I was a kid...I was so sick..." I murmured, more to myself than to him, "She took care of me for three days and three nights straight. She was so warm and that's when I found out I was a ton more warmer than she was..."

"Here," he sat closer to me, "Why don't you get some sleep? You must be really tired..."

I nodded...the weight on my eyes were getting unbearable, "Yeah, you're right..."

And then for a while, we just gazed at each other. And then...he was leaning closer to me...almost like a dream, he kissed me softly and shyly on my lips. I could feel his touch, it was sweet and gentle. But before I could even return the kiss, he turned away with a blush with a stammered whisper I couldn't catch. I couldn't help but grin.

"You'll be hacking a lung, you know," I managed to joke.

"Well," he smiled at me, a heavenly sight, "Then you're just gonna have to take care of me then, won't you? But for now..."

He gently repositioned the cloth on my forehead, patting my feverish skin.

"I'll take care of you tonight."

I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, finally succumbing in the wave of darkness. I could still feel his presence...his soft breathing...his gentle voice...his presence alone was alone to ignite the hope inside of me.

"Your kiss was so warm, Dee...I'd even say it's hot..."

Ryo's voice was somehow echoing into my head...I could only hope it's not another audio hallucination...

"Dee..."

'Ryo...'

It sounded real enough...

"I...I think...you're pretty hot too..."

In my head, I was grinning like the Cheshire cat...there was a chance after all. Yeah...Ryo would only need more time to sort out what he really wants. I could feel his gentle fingers in my hair and his lips were pressed softly on my forehead when the coldness was starting to reappear. It was warm...not feverish warm...it's...the kind that made you want to fly and made your heart swell. But for now, if this was the closest I could get to Ryo...I'm glad that it happened. I won't try anything too hard on him...I knew that he would make it one day to settle his heart and find out that...

* * *

Deep as an ocean  
My love for my other shall reside  
It will surface in a tide  
When my beloved were to open up  
For then I would shower for all that he deserves

* * *

...my love...for him...was as deep...as an ocean...

The End

* * *

Author's note: There are so many gaps between the acts and I just love this kind of scenes (better to be read). I hope u guys like this one. And I'm sorry if I spoiled it but I did warn u about the spoilers. Until then...c ya. 


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